In many of my articles I refer to “courtship” or “courting a woman,” when discussing chivalry and romance, but it is rarely defined in modern times. According to Dictionary.com, what is courtship, exactly?
1. The wooing of one person by another.2. The period during which such wooing takes place.3. Solicitation of favors, applause, etc.4. Ethology. behavior in animals that occurs before and during mating, often including elaborate displays.5. Obsolete. courtly behavior; courtesy; gallantry.
While “solicitation of favors” is questionable, one of these points stands out to me even more – the use of “Obsolete” in number five, in addition to courtesy.
Why is taking the time to actually “woo” someone obsolete? Why has it all but disappeared from modern society, and why do I think we should work to keep it alive? Here are five reasons.
You’ll develop a stronger relationship.
It is traditionally so that the man in a new relationship will be the one who is courting a woman. I have often heard men ask “what’s in it for me?” Well…first of all if you’re performing acts of kindness for the sake of a reward (see #3 in the definition above) then it is not true kindness.
Real kindness comes from the goodness of your heart without the want for reward, but it should also be noted that courting a woman will bring two things into your life:- The type of woman with the maturity and dignity to only accept advances from a man who treats her with respect.
– The ability to therefore grow a stronger and longer lasting relationship with the woman in question, because she will possess the necessary qualities to build one alongside you.
You become better in all areas of life.
Courtship is (should be) a selfless act. It requires you to put in effort for another person’s enjoyment, learn about them, and learn about yourself in the process. When committing one’s self to efforts such as this, one cannot help to develop internally as well. We become more aware of the world around us, what people want and need in order to be happy, and how we can help give it to them.
If making others happy isn’t good enough for you – remember that people are willing to do more for those who do more for them.
You will gain her trust.
One of the biggest factors in relationships failing these days is lack of trust. Either lack of trust during the beginning stages, or even after commitment has been established.
If a man takes the time to court a woman, it requires him to build a foundation for the relationship. Relationships do not simply appear out of thin air, they take time, energy, and commitment to build – much like a house. But a relationship without this trust and friendship is like a house built on sand. It may look good from the outside, but it will have nothing to keep it standing when the weather gets rough.
If a woman has a clear view that you’re willing to build this foundation with her, it will limit her insecurities and help build her confidence in you.
You will intensify your intimacy.
Through the process of courtship, men and women tend to develop a stronger emotional connection than if they had simply jumped into a relationship or a “friends with benefits” scenario. What many people don’t realize is that a stronger emotional connection, especially for a woman, translates to a stronger physical connection.
People think of intimacy as strictly physical, but in reality – it is built through small actions that show each other you care, romance, chivalry, and courtship. Intimacy, therefore, is in reality built outside of the bedroom.
You will find the right person for YOU.
Many people get so caught up in finding the “perfect” person, that they might miss the person who is actually perfect for them. Additionally, I have heard from many men (“nice guys”) that women just don’t appreciate their efforts or personalities, and they get discouraged.
It is important to stay true to yourself, your nature, and what feels comfortable to you. If someone (man or woman) is pushed away by your kindness, then instead of being discouraged, try to see it as a positive sign that you learned early on in the relationship that they weren’t the right type of person for you.
The right type of person for you will appreciate the small details you notice, the kindness you exude to those around you, and the effort you put in specifically for them. Through the courtship process we learn if a woman (or man) is going to be appreciative of what we do for them and how they will respond.
If we jump into a relationship, as many do these days, we are left complaining about how they “changed” after a few months of being with them, and then breaking up. In reality, nobody changed at all – you simply learned who they truly are.
If we take the time to practice courtship, we will eliminate these surprises down the road and truly learn who we are building a relationship with at the proper time to do so – in the beginning.
Show someone your respect for yourself as well as for them, by keeping courtship alive.
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6 thoughts on “5 Reasons To Keep Courtship Alive”
Where’s the article that shows how women are “suppose” to act? As in staying home, cooking, and cleaning. I mean we’re talking about how each gender should portray themselves in order to better the relationship right?
I’d argue you could make everything gender-neutral/LGBTQ-friendly in here and it would still work. I did what came naturally to me that made sense for us, which in part was learning how to make tea just so. It’s not because I’m a woman. It’s because he’s English and tea is important. He does the lion’s share of the cooking while he’s here. 🙂
I’d also argue that everything happens in context, and I haven’t read much of the site yet, but this article, this we all can apply to ourselves. We could all stand to strengthen our relationships, become better selves, build trust and intimacy, and ultimately understand who we belong with in this world.
I was brought up to stay home, cook, clean, sew, mend, paint, play music, garden, have kids, etc. I was trained at all the domestic duties. However, I am not appreciated in today’s world. I have no friends who understand me. I am all alone. No one appreciates this way of life. I am pressured go get a career and make money and for me to be a modern woman like all the other women today. Cooking and cleaning and raising kids etc. can be hired out to servants and nannies.
Apparently I am a dinosaur. I am outdated. I amount to no more than a servant. I live for my husband and daughter. I have no other interests except to please them. I am not a martyr. I am merely attempting to do the best I can at the job I was trained to do. If you are looking for those women, you won’t find many of us anymore because we are being forced out of this life because we have become extinct. No one needs us. We are replaceable. Unappreciated, misunderstood, outdated and unwanted.
Oh my gosh, it is so nice to read your post! I have felt the same way so many times. I wasn’t raised with thus minset, but I knew it was what I wanted. I find such pleasure in caring for my family. I hold strong to the traditional roles of husbands and wives. People look at me like I “just don’t know any better,” but, that is so far from the truth.
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Courtship, lol. What right thinking man would court these beastly sluts ? Goodness, throat fuck them, maybe a few rounds of anal and then move onto it’s little sister. You are a weak fag dude. I’ll bet if you ever have a womyn, she will be worn out from too many cocks and settling for your paycheck, while sucking more cocks.