I know some of these will probably be painfully simple – but you’d be surprised how often they go overlooked.
You had what it takes to score yourself a first date, now make sure you do what it takes for a second one.
As crazy as some of this might sound, some of this article is inspired by actual stories from actual girls who had actual experiences. Here goes…
- Do – Guys, pick her up.
- Don’t – Make her meet you at your destination.
Put in the extra effort, don’t make her take a cab or take her own car. Some women may not feel comfortable with you knowing where they live before they get to know you, so if she insists, agree on meeting.
Bonus: Are you really into her? Use the Uber app on your phone to send a black car to pick her up. It’s a classy move and I can almost guarantee nobody she’s gone out with has ever done it before. Use this link to get $20 off of your first ride.
- Do – Dress appropriately for the occasion.
- Don’t – Dress like you’re going to the gym or sitting around the house. (C’mon man).
Chances are, the woman you’re taking out is going to put some serious effort into how she looks (make sure you notice and compliment her). Show her the respect of doing the same. Plus, when you look better, you feel better. And when you feel better, you do better in all areas of life.
- Do – Open the car door for her.
- Don’t – Watch her stand there waiting for you to open it while you go around your side.
Chivalry never goes out of style. The small things speak volumes, and you will be surprised when she tells you how “nobody does that these days.”
- Do – Feel free to order a couple of drinks (or a few, depending on your tolerance).
- Don’t – Go overboard and get sloppy. And definitely don’t show up already drunk.
This should be obvious. Know your limits.
- Do – Be polite to the waiter/waitress/anyone you meet.
- Don’t – Be impatient or rude, any ‘nice person’ who isn’t nice to the waiter, is not a nice person.
There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to be rude to anyone. Keep calm and be polite, simple mistakes aren’t that serious, and are certainly not ruining a night over. Steak undercooked? Great – more time to get to know your date while they correct the error.
- Do – Keep the conversation light and casual. Find out each other’s interests, but it’s not an interview or a plan for the future.
- Don’t – Talk about how beautiful your kids are going to be.
Too much too soon, man – trying to name your kids on the first date is a great way to make sure there isn’t a second date.
- Do – Show up on time.
- Don’t – Keep him or her waiting, you only get one first impression.
Common courtesy and respect needs no explanation.
- Do – Keep your phone in your pocket.
- Don’t – Make your date feel like your Facebook or email is more important than they are.
As common as it is that everyone is on their phone these days, have the manners to ignore it when you’re on a date. Just do what the rest of us do and check it when you go to the restroom, or when she does.
- Do – Pick up the tab, guys.
- Do – Offer to split it, girls.
A first date should absolutely under no circumstances have the bill split. Unless of course, that’s where you want the relationship to end. Don’t take a woman somewhere you can’t afford to pay for.
- Don’t – Accept the offer, guys (seriously).
- Don’t – Agree to a 2nd date if he accepts the offer, girls.
A respectful woman will offer to pay half, and will most likely reach for her wallet. This is out of courtesy and should never be taken seriously by a man. Show her appreciation that she made the gesture, but that’s as far as it goes.
- Do – Tell the truth.
- Don’t – Exaggerate to get them interested in you.
Dishonesty is a recipe for disaster right off the bat. If you’re out with someone who you genuinely are interested in a potential long term relationship with, eventually they’re going to find out if you’re lying to them or “embellishing,” and it would end up worse than if you were honest in the first place. Just be you.
- Do – Ask genuine questions and attempt to learn about the other person.
- Don’t – Make it all about you.
You have two ears and one mouth for a reason – listen twice as much as you speak. “What’s your favorite movie?” is not a question to ask someone you’re truly trying to get to know. Be genuine and show your interest. Find out her passions, her dreams, her ambitions. What makes her get up in the morning?
- Do – Go for the kiss.
- Don’t – Wimp out.
Going for the kiss on the first date will show your intentions clearly off the bat and will leave no room for question or insecurity if nobody makes a move. Guys, it will also keep you out of the dreaded friend zone. If she’s interested and kisses back, you’re in, because friends don’t kiss. If she’s not and she just goes for a hug, you know where you stand, early on.
Your first date is your only real opportunity to gain this person’s interest, but make sure you’re genuine about it. We all put our best foot forward to make a good impression, but don’t send your ‘representative’ who isn’t really what you’re all about.
And really, have some common sense. Be a gentleman (or a lady), Respect boundaries. Don’t be clingy. Don’t be weird. Don’t make him/her feel uncomfortable. It really is that easy!
Let me know how date two goes.
Click here to connect with me on Twitter -> Follow @JamesMSama